Anyway, here it is in its entirety. For my friends in the Bahamas, who argued for and against this new night club, while I sat quietly refusing to give an opinion (citing my work permit); I can only say yes, it was me. I even put in a "time-share salesperson" hint into the release, but no one came even came close to guessing who the culprit was.
FREEPORT, GRAND BAHAMAS, BAHAMAS
October 3, 1998
FOR GENERAL RELEASE
CLUB HELL OPENING IN GRAND BAHAMA
New Era Entertainment announced this morning plans for a "virtual" strip club on Grand Bahama, With a grand opening scheduled for February 1999. Company Vice-President Angela Rolle said; "What makes Club Hell so unique is that there will be absolutely no nudity in the bar itself. The dancers are actually in Ft. Lauderdale, Hollywood, Las Vegas, and four other cities. Cameras in these foreign clubs transmit via satellite directly to Club Hell, allowing patrons an opportunity to watch the action on large screen televisions." Ms. Rolle stated, "The upscale clubs we've chosen for this venture are top-of-the-line; and the dancers are drop dead gorgeous! But don't come expecting explicit sexual acts. Just beautiful, fully nude women on television, dancing for your pleasure."
Club Hell will also feature a 24 person Jacuzzi with a three story bungee jump tower over the bubbling water. Waitresses and patrons alike can relax in the Jacuzzi or soak in the otherwise "hellish" environment. The club sports locker rooms, a dungeon for the "leather oriented", and signature shots like the "Brimestone" and the "Whoregasm". "Who's going to Hell" night, with free admission to government officials and time-share salespersons, happens once a month.
Applications for waitress positions will be accepted in late December. Ms. Rolle said, "The waitresses (or Hellions) will be wearing specially designed Club Hell bikinis; so obviously we will be looking for the best looking girls on the island. As part of their duties, our girls will take an active part in the community; visiting retirement homes and hospitals, organizing steak-outs for charity, and other fund raising activities. The G-String Sunday Car Wash will be a regular event; with proceeds going to a different charity each week. Twenty five dollars for five or six breathtaking girls in tiny bikinis soaping up your car and each other - even guys without trans will wait in line for this one!"
Club Hell patrons can pay a nightly cover charge, or purchase a full year membership. Tourists will be admitted to the club free of charge. A special V.I.P. lounge for bachelor parties or business conferences will also be available.
New Era Entertainment representatives will be returning to Grand Bahama in early December for press interviews.