Sunday, February 8, 2009

NBC Digitizes Al Michaels' Hair for Super-Bowl

(New York) The National Broadcasting Company has admitted using their seven second delay during the Super-Bowl to "digitally enhance" the hairline of play-by-play announcer Al Michaels.

According to a press release, the network was concerned the target demographic of the Super-Bowl was subtly shifting. They decided by giving Michaels a more youthful appearance when he was on camera, the network could maintain consistent ratings throughout the game. The network defended itself by saying they had committed to a Springsteen half-time show early on, but were worried they would lose a younger demographic during the half-time break to other activites like "studying" or "sex texting". They decided enhancement technology was the subliminal solution to the short attention span among youth today.

This is the second time NBC has revealed state-of-the-art enhancement technology during sports events. In the Opening Ceremonies of the XX Olympic Games in Beijing,
part of the elaborate Olympics fireworks show broadcasted to the world was altered digitally using computer graphics, according to news reports at the time. NBC also digitally removed Michael Phelps' marijuanna ciggarette during all post-race interviews.

Sources indicate the network had also planned a "wardrobe malfuction" on color commentator John Madden toward the end of the game's first half, but decided Madden's breasts were not suitable for television, especially with 3-D glasses.

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